My mom emailed me this joke several years ago, and I always dig it up and re-read it this time of year to help keep me sane while planning our office holiday party. It's this Tuesday, and for some reason I'm really stressing about it this year. But I know it will all work out and everyone will have fun.

OR ELSE.


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Yeah...what she said.

ETA: Just to clarify, the "angry" mood refers to the fact that I'm angry that the bill was defeated, not that I'm angry at Sen. Savino. Her speech is brilliant and well worth listening to.

corkdorkdan came to visit for a few days over Thanksgiving, and when he found out that I'd never been to some place called Peddler's Village, he was horrified and declared that we absolutely had to go there. When I found out there was a display of gingerbread houses, I agreed! For once I remembered to bring my awesome new camera with me, so here are some pictures.


( Click for pics! )

I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving full of delicious noms!

I actually performed a wedding yesterday! I was insanely nervous, but I pulled it off, and it was awesome! My friends Maggie and Charlie were the whole reason I got ordained in the first place - they asked me if I'd be wiling to officiate their wedding, and yesterday was the big day! I was pretty calm up until the day before - then I went into full-on panic mode. I knew there was nothing to be nervous about, but I guess panic isn't usually rational. I had all my notes written out, and corkdorkdan had the great idea of putting them in a journal that would look a bit nicer than, say, ruffling through a few sheets of loose leaf paper. It was a very small ceremony - the bride and groom each had a best man to serve as witness, and that was it - so I didn't have to worry about stage fright. It just suddenly seemed like a huge responsibility to me. I mean, this was their wedding day; what if I screwed it all up and they weren't legally married for some reason and it was all my fault? Yes, I'd done my research and discovered that it's really not all that hard to get married from a legal standpoint; I'd have to screw up pretty massively to invalidate the wedding. BUT WHAT IF?????? So I panicked on Friday and hardly slept that night and got up early Saturday so I could go with Maggie to get her hair done and for her pre-wedding manicure/pedicure, and then we all went to the bed and breakfast where the wedding would take place, and we did the ceremony and we all signed the marriage license and we had an awesome dinner and it was done! They're married!

I'm not completely out of the woods yet; I still have to mail in the marriage license. But I think I can handle that. I am an ordained minister after all, not some mere amateur!

Maggie & Charlie - congratulations! And thank you again for giving me the chance to share in your happiness like this - it was truly an honor.

I had a shift at RFBD tonight after work, and I got assigned to work on the bibliography of a book. I always dread getting a bibliography - it's just so mind-numbingly dull. You have to spell out each author's name and it just gets incredibly boring after reading a few listings. I think I kind of went into a trance at one point because I have no memory of a good half-hour or so, but my director didn't stop me so I assume I was doing OK. Or she fell asleep.

Anyway, I read through the Hs and Is and partway through the Js when things started to go terribly wrong. Usually, if a name is repeated you don't have to re-spell it each time. However, if two different authors have the same last name, you have to spell it each time. So if you have Smith, Bill blah blah blah, and the next entry is also by Smith, Bill, you don't have to spell Smith twice. But if you have Smith, Bill blah blah blah, followed by Smith, Dave, you have to spell out Smith both times. Normally it's no big deal, but this book had an appalling number of references for authors with the last name of Johnson. After I read through 3 or 4, I started getting the giggles, just from the repetition of saying "Johnson - J- O-H-N-S-O-N, Bill. Johnson - J- O-H-N-S-O-N, Dave. Johnson - J- O-H-N-S-O-N, John", etc. After an hour and a half of repetitively reading source after source, it started to seem very funny.

So we had about 15 minutes left on our shift, and my director and I decided to try to power through the giggles (they're contagious, you know) and finish up the page we were on. So we made it through a few more before I started giggling again, and finally I said "Let's just quit. I mean - we did like 10 Johnsons already; isn't that enough for one night?"

And that was when I remembered the alternate definition of "johnson" (I swear - it hadn't even occurred to me until then!), and my director had pretty much the same thought at the same time, and we both collapsed in hysterics because we're apparently 12. Anyway, once we calmed down, we agreed that 10 Johnsons was quite enough for one night and we went home.

I'm having a bit of an issue with my mechanic, and I need a sanity check to figure out if I'm being reasonable. So any advice is much appreciated!

The plastic part of my seatbelt is cracked - the part that you plug into.....that other part. You know. That thing. So I asked my mechanic if he could replace it last time I had it in for some work, and he said no problem but he had to special order the part. So I brought the car in yesterday to have it fixed and paid my $200 dollars and went on my merry way - only to get in my car and discover that my seatbelt was still cracked! So I went back inside and asked the guy what as up, and after a bit of back-and-forth, we figured out that he had misunderstood me when I told him about the seatbelt, and assumed it was the other part that was cracked - the part on your right-hand side that you plug the buckle into. So now I have a new half-seatbelt that I didn't really need, I'm out over $200 and I still have to bring the car back in for them to replace the left-hand side of the seatbelt, which also has to be special-ordered and will cost me about another $300. So I told him to go ahead and order the part and call me when it came in and we'd figure it all out.

I didn't pitch a fit then and there for a few reasons.
1) I love my mechanic. They always do great work, are very trustworthy and treat me with respect - three things I've had a lot of trouble finding with other mechanics in the area. This was clearly an honest mistake, and mistakes happen to the best of us.
2) I was upset and didn't want to discuss the situation until I was feeling more level-headed.
3) He was visibly upset and I didn't want to discuss it until HE was feeling more level-headed.
4) He isn't the owner of the shop, and I knew he'd have to talk to the owner before offering me any kind of deal, so demanding a resolution right then and there was pointless.
5) There were 3 other people behind me in line (seriously the place was deserted the entire time I was there, and right at the worst possible minute everyone showed up) and I didn't feel the need to make a scene in front of everyone, especially when I could tell that he was upset, and the person who could offer me any kind of refund wasn't there anyway.

So I'm assuming that they're going to offer me something - a discount or a credit or something. Yes, it was an honest mistake on their part, but shouldn't he have checked the seatbelt before he placed the order? The car was in for work anyway, and it would have taken him about 5 seconds to look at the seatbelt and make sure we were talking about the same part. It's always possible I was unclear in my description (for example, see my eloquent description of the problem above) but I don't think it's unreasonable to expect him to take a quick look at the part in question before ordering a new one....is it? Also, maybe they should have noticed when replacing the wrong part that it wasn't cracked and wondered what was up? So when they call me I'm going to wait and see what they say, but I want to go in having an idea of what I want from them.

So I'm thinking I'm willing to pay for both parts. Even though I didn't ask them to replace it, I will have both halves of a brand new seatbelt. And really - my car is 15 years old; there's a pretty good chance that the other part of the seatbelt was ready to break too. However, I am out $200 for a repair I didn't even want, so I feel like they should offer me some kind of a deal. I think I should get a credit for the labor charges on the work they've already done, and a discount on the labor for the work they still have to do. Does that seem fair? I'm looking for honest feedback here, so if you think I'm way off, please let me know.

I'm spending this Halloween home sick.  Nothing serious - just a cold, but it's making me very grouchy.  Fortunately I don't usually get trick-or-treaters at my apartment, but I guess if any show up I can tell them that my red nose, hacking cough and bad mood are all part of my "swine flu patient" costume, then watch their parents  yank them away before they can take any of my contaminated candy.  Maybe I should put a quarantine sign on my door, just to complete the effect.  I did buy a bag of candy, just in case anyone does show up.  Obviously the ideal outcome is that no kids will show up and I can keep all the candy for myself.  Too bad I can't actually taste anything right now.

My family is having our early Thanksgiving this weekend, and my job is to bring a cake that everyone can eat.  (Well, I'm also in charge of beer, but that one's easy!)  So, we have one person who can't have dairy, one who can't have sugar and one who shuns artificial sweeteners.  I've found lots of cake recipes that fit these requirements, but each one tastes worse than the last!  I tried a "sugar free" banana cake (sweetened only with bananas, no added sweeteners) with a non-dairy sugar-free cream cheese frosting.  FAIL.  The cake was actually bitter, and the frosting was.....not frosting.  Maybe it could have been classified as pudding.  Really gross pudding. 

Then I tried another banana cake recipe, this one sweetened with fruit juice and agave nectar.  It was edible....barely.  Really heavy and it had a weird sweetness to it - like it was too sweet, but at the same time not satisfyingly sweet, if that makes any sense.  And the frosting.....dear god, the frosting.  This was the most complicated frosting recipe I've ever made.  It involved simmering a mixture of agave nectar and coconut milk, then thickening it with arrowroot powder, boiling it, beating it for several minutes with a hand mixer, adding coconut oil, beating it again for several minutes, freezing it for an hour and then beating it AGAIN for a good 10 minutes or so.  EPIC FAIL..  It was supposed to be light and fluffy by this point, but it wasn't.  It was kind of like a thick glaze, and tasted OK (if you like really, really sweet coconut glaze), but it was an unpleasant off-white color, and after sitting for about 10 minutes it started to congeal, then separate, and I pretty much lost my appetite after that.  

Tonight I'm trying a pumpkin cake.  It does have sugar, but not a lot, and I'm hoping all the spices will help give it some more flavor.  I've given up on finding a sugar-free dairy-free frosting.  I'm thinking I'll bring some whipped cream, or possibly some plain Greek yogurt flavored with a little cinnamon and let everyone top their own slice according to their dietary restrictions.

Claritin-D and Zyrtec-D are not the same thing.  However, generic Claritin-D and generic Zyrtec-D have remarkably similar packaging.  So similar that when I asked the pharmacist for generic Claritin-D (because it's just too damn dangerous for me to buy without going through a pharmacist, apparently), she gave me generic Zyrtec-D instead and I didn't even notice until I'd already taken three doses.  And yes, I've spent the last day and a half vaguely wondering why I feel so out of it and assumed it was because my allergies are sapping all my energy, until I took a closer look at the pill box and realized that while Claritin-D does a wonderful job of managing my allergy symptoms with no side effects, Zyrtec-D manages my symptoms almost as well, but puts me in a kind of slowed-down, foggy mental state.  Not nearly as bad as Benadryl, which knocks me out cold for a good 10 - 12 hours, but enough that I kind of feel like I'm moving in slow motion, and I have to think a lot harder than usual to do really simple tasks. 

I figure I can't return the Zyrtec, since I've already opened it and taken several doses.  And I'm afraid to just go buy some Claritin-D because buying two boxes of cold medicine in three days might flag me in whatever database they use to track pseudoephedrine sales, and I don't want to be arrested on suspicion of running a meth lab, especially when I'm not fully alert to defend myself.  So until my allergies decide to calm down, I'll either be sniffling and sneezing and causing everyone to panic because no one believes me that it's just allergies and not swine flu, or I'll be breathing easily but be zoned out and not very alert.  Either way, I'll probably be grouchy.  How long do you think I have to wait before I can safely buy more sudafed without getting arrested?

Incidentally, the reason I had to get Claritin/Zyrtec instead of just plain sudafed is that the pharmacy was completely sold out of sudafed.  I blame Glee.

I promised myself I would post more often after my last lapse, and yet I haven't done so. I'll try again, starting.........now!

I keep waiting for something exciting to happen to write about, but not much is going on here.  A combination of vet bills (Josh is fine - it just cost an alarming amount of money to find out that he's fine) and mechanic bills (Yes, I'm still driving the 15-year-old car with over 200,000 miles on it.  It will last forever I tell you!) have got me sticking to a stricter budget, so I haven't been going out as much.  I've been entertaining myself with Netflix and library books, and the giant stack of unread books I found while I was cleaning a while back.  Work is going well, volunteering is going well, my family is doing well.....all is well!

I found this wonderful bit of news today - they're coming out with chocolate covered Peeps in the spring!  I'm a little unclear on whether they'll still have a layer of granulated sugar under the chocolate, or if they'll just be marshmallow covered in chocolate.  But don't worry - as soon as they're available I'll investigate and report back!

A friend of mine called this website the "anti-LOLCat site" (Hi, John!), but I prefer to think of it as Castiel's take on LOLcats.  (If you aren't familiar with LOLcats, check out I Can Has Cheezburger.)  (If you aren't familiar with Castiel, watch Supernatural, Thursdays at 9pm on the CW.)



Today is corkdorkdan 's birthday!  Happy Birthday Dan!!!!!  I was stumped for gift ideas, so I decided to send him a birthday cake.  Birthday cake is always appropriate, right?  The problem - how to ship a German chocolate cake from Philly to RI without spending an arm and a leg?  The answer - bake jumbo cupcakes instead of a full-size cake.  Cut them in half, layer with frosting in a half-pint mason jar (1 cupcake per jar fits just about perfectly), pack well and ship!  They arrive (hopefully) fresh and moist and ready to eat out of the jar!  Apparently some people actually bake the cakes in the jars and seal them as they cool to keep them really fresh (and send the frosting in a separate container), but there were several dire warnings floating around the web about botulism and it didn't seem worth the risk, so I went with this method instead.  Dan said they arrived in good shape, so I guess it worked!  And now that I know the secret, you can all guess what I'll be giving you for your next birthday!

Sorry for not posting for so long - I've been busy getting ordained.  Yes, you can all call me Reverend Amy now!  I know that it might be awkward at first to adjust to my new title, and it's only natural that you'll be in awe of my new, exalted status as an ordained minister.  I mean, the Universal Life Church doesn't ordain just anyone....you have to fill out a brief form on the internet and wait until they email you your confirmation.  I spent a good 5 minutes on the whole process!  According to their website I can now legally perform weddings, baptisms, funerals and exorcisms.  (Just like Sam & Dean!)  I have no plans to do most of those things; the only reason I even looked into getting ordained is because my friends Maggie and Charlie are planning to get married and want me to perform the ceremony!  I'm really excited about this.  They haven't set a date yet, and we still have to sit down and talk about exactly what kind of ceremony they want, but I now have the legal authority to perform their wedding.  If all goes well, maybe I'll start my own church.  Prayer circles every Thursday at 9pm at my place!  The sacred margaritas and holy cupcakes will be provided.

I'm sure I don't need to say this, but I'll say it anyway.

Oh.My.God - I am soooooooo excited about the Supernatural Season 5 premier tonight!!!!!!  I'm actually a bit frightened of this season - the show has been pretty dark in the past, and this season promises to be even worse....and by "worse", I mean "better".  So I'm making tuna noodle casserole for dinner (the apocalypse calls for serious comfort food!) and trying to remain calm until 9:00.  Wish me luck!

While I was at the grocery store getting tuna and noodles, I got stopped in the pasta aisle by a guy who looked completely overwhelmed by the selection of pasta available.  He asked me kind of desperately "Do you know how to make.....uh, I think it's called spaghetti and meatballs?"  (I think he was from India.)  Apparently someone had told him he had to make the meatballs and sauce from scratch, and he looked very relieved when I pointed him toward the jars of sauce and told him about the pre-made meatballs in the frozen food aisle.  Then I tried to explain  the difference between spaghetti, linguine, angel hair, etc.  It was fun.  Then I came outside and saw an absolutely stunning double rainbow above the parking lot, and I stood there in the rain for like 5 minutes stopping every random passer-by and saying "Look at the rainbow!".  Yes, they probably thought I was insane.  Whatever - no one was looking at the rainbow!  Look UP once in a while people!!!!  Then I turned around and saw that the horizon in the other direction was absolutely blood red, which reminded my of the apocalypse, which reminded me that I needed to get home and get ready because THE SUPERNATURAL SEASON PREMIER IS TONIGHT!!!!!!!

IN CONCLUSION - I AM VERY CALM AND TOTALLY NOT FREAKING OUT OVER A TV SHOW AT ALL.

I spent 20 minutes this morning looking for a particular pair of jeans.  I checked all the usual places - under the bed, the bedroom floor, the clean laundry pile, the dirty laundry pile, the washer, the drier, the couch, under the couch pillows, in the pile of stuff I haven't gotten to cleaning up yet in the closet.  You know where they were?  Neatly folded in a dresser drawer.  Why the hell would I put them there???  Damn nesting instincts..... I also had to go out one day last week with no umbrella because I couldn't find it anywhere.  Yeah - it was hanging on a hook in my coat closet.  This madness needs to stop right now!

You hear that Barnes & Noble?  DEAD!!!!!

OK - let me preface this by saying that this post will be ranty and rambling and maybe just a tiny bit unhinged, so I'm putting it all behind a cut.  It involves me, a hardcore Supernatural addict already in withdrawal from a loooong summer hiatus, running into trouble trying to buy the Season 4 DVDs today.  Like, 5 minutes ago.  My hands are still shaking.

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I went to a BBQ today and I was in charge of bringing the deserts.  Awesome!  Here's what I came up with:
( with pictures! )

I think this is the best Supernatural promo ever: (Contains spoilers for the upcoming season)



The only other one that comes even close is from Season 2:


I cannot wait for this season to start!

I'm going to be an aunt!  I can finally upgrade my title from Crazy Cousin Amy to Crazy Aunt Amy!  I am ridiculously excited about this.  My sister Meghan is due sometime in January, and they don't plan to find out if it's a boy or a girl ahead of time, but I'm predicting a boy.  I was all set to prepare for this joyous occasion by doing all sorts of spinster aunt-type things, like shopping for Clash onesies and trying to persuade her to name the baby Sam or Dean and making sure she eats enough chocolate (after seeing several friends go through pregnancies, I'm convinced that the true cause of morning sickness is insufficient levels of chocolate in the mother's system), and looking for feminist baby books but instead I seem to be experiencing an unexpected reaction.  You guys - I think I'm nesting.

Is that even possible?  Can I be going through sympathetic nesting?  I cleaned all weekend.  I mean - I did tons of laundry, and I vacuumed, and I made homemade carpet freshener out of baking soda and essential oils for heavens sake!  This is not normal behavior for me.  I also made a giant vat of vegetable soup that will probably last me for a month or so.  It's very strange.  I'm actually annoyed that I have to go into work tomorrow because I want to do more cleaning.  Hopefully this is just a fluke and it will end soon, and I better not have any other weird sympathetic symptoms!

I saw the movie again this past weekend.  My friends and I were planning to see it in IMAX 3-D, but we didn't order tickets ahead of time and the IMAX showings were sold out, so we ended up seeing it on the regular screen again.  (Note to self - it's much easier to persuade people to go to the movies with you at noon on a Sunday, as opposed to at midnight on a Tuesday.) 

Again, lots of spoilers ahead!

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My coven broke up earlier this year.  It's a long story and I'm not going to go into details, but it happened back in January and that's the reason I've been very sporadic with any posts on spirituality or Wicca. 

For several months I was too depressed to even think about doing ritual by myself.  I couldn't even consider the idea of joining another coven, and I wasn't doing much spiritual work on my own - not even meditating or working with my Tarot cards.  It's not that I wanted to stop practicing Wicca, I was just kind of stumped as to how to continue.  I told myself I'd practice as a solitary, no problem.  Well, it was a problem for me.  I loved my coven, and the idea of doing a ritual without them just felt wrong. 

Then in June, a few days before the full moon, I started feeling that pull - I wanted to do a ritual.  So I did.  It was.....OK.  I felt like I was plodding along, it didn't feel natural, and I didn't feel like I accomplished much.  But it felt good to dip my toes back in the water.  Tonight I did another ritual, and I made a few changes.  In June, I was still following the ritual outline that we used as a coven.  I think that taking the format we used as a group and just using it by myself was part of the problem - the entire time I felt like people were missing; like I couldn't do the ritual properly by myself.  So this time I made a few changes.  I made a new ritual outline that's all mine.  It's not really all that different from the coven ritual, but there are a few important changes, and I think it worked better.  It certainly felt better, anyway. 

One thing stumped me though - should I still do Cakes & Ale?  Cakes & Ale is kind of a symbolic meal during the ritual - a chance for the group to share food and drink and reflect on the ritual.  I did include it in my ritual tonight because I had some yummy cookies and really good beer, so why not?  But I felt a little odd sharing a meal with myself.  (On the plus side, I got to drink all the beer myself!  :-)  But if I didn't include it, I wouldn't have libations to offer at the end of the ritual.  It's not that I think either way would be right or wrong - I'm just still trying to figure out what I'm most comfortable with.  I'll have to experiment and see what feels right.  But if anyone has any suggestions, I'd love to hear them!